Thursday, 16 March 2017

The joys of living rurally.

Part of the joy of living in the countryside, is the thrill of having a septic tank. It delights me that our family outpourings are located in a field and that every two years a man in overalls, and presumably no sense of smell, comes with a lorry and a strange looking vacuum to suck it up and take it all away. Today is that day.

I have a sickly 14yo home at the moment. She is full of flu. I was loath to leave her in the house while I fed the livestock, in case the 'sludge-gobbler' came and she was forced off her death bed to answer the door, so I phoned the company first thing; I was told he was on his way and to expect him by 10am. He arrived at 12.30pm. Hungry livestock.

A small, unsmiley man, (but then, who can blame him,) he moaned as soon as I opened the door. It was a long way to our house, (correct, though to be fair it depends where you start,) he had a bigger rig than he was used to, he wasn't sure the access to our drive was big enough, the field was grassier than he'd expected and he didn't have a shovel..... Lordy. I suggested he start by driving onto site, I'd get him a shovel and I'd make him a cup of coffee. 'Weak,' he said, 'Very weak.' I retreated indoors to let him sort himself out. Not sure I trust those that drink weak coffee.

I made the insipid, watery beverage and even wrapped a home-made, mini victoria sponge in some tin foil: Us Poo professionals ought to stick together, (though not literally.)

On our driveway I was greeted by the unsmiley one, even more unsmiley than he'd been before. He'd managed to badly misjudge our overhead electricity cable to the barn. The very barn I need to lamb in shortly. The wire was draped over his lorry like a poor attempt at bunting. 'Is it live?' he asked. 'Yesss!' said I, with more force than I'd planned. 'Oh,' he said, 'I thought I could make it.'


Anyhoo, three hours later and our stinky tank is empty, the smell is slowly drifting away. Electricians from the company have been to see the damage and will return tomorrow to fix us. I am less fraught and I even had some kind words for the unsmiley one: I valiantly held back from telling him that I think he's in the wrong job.

The 14yo is feeling marginally better and I've baked some lovely granary bread. I'm expecting indigestion any minute now, not from the antics of the day, but rather from the slab of hot bread and equal slab of salted butter I've just sampled!

Wednesday, 19 October 2016


It's hard to believe we are only just embarking on our 8th year here at The Larches. We've learned so much, forgotten so much. In my 50th year I have noticed that there is only so much storage capacity in my noggin. Sometimes, when I learn something new, something old falls out the back... I wish I was more like my phone; when that gets close to being filled with gorgeous pictures of the sproglets, alpaca, lamb or plant, I add a SD card and all is well.

Shrimp 2014
We've just sold our 2016 lambs at market. Raised solely on our natural grass paddocks and their mums' milk, we were commended on their health and size and were rewarded with a very good price. Possibly the top price for lambs at that market. #Chuffed. We seem to specialise in making small things bigger; lambs, alpaca, plants. Shrimp, born two years ago, is now indistinguishable from my other sheep and she will go to the tup this year and have lambs of her own next year. Similarly Cleopatra lamb is well on her way to catching up her peers, and yet, earlier this year, she was sharing a bean bag with the cats, her nappy on, in the sitting room!
Cleopatra 2015
I'm not as gullible as I used to be, more's the pity. When I first started to keep hens, I was surprised to find a tiny egg one morning and when I next saw a neighbour I showed him.
"Lord!" he said. "That's very rare." He looked at me dead on.
"That's a Rooster egg." he said. I looked from he to it and it to he. He had me for approx 6 seconds, but he had me.

We had a Rooster Egg this week again, though I suspect that one of my hens, who has been looking worse for wear, lacking feathers and generally not looking her best, is finally out of moult!

2p, Rooster Egg, Standard Egg.

Friday, 25 March 2016

Lambing on the couch.

Last night was my 8th on the couch in the sitting room. The couch is fine, though I could do with it being about 2ft longer, so as I don't have to poke my legs off the side/stick them up on the arms/curl them foetal-style.  The benefits of being on the couch far outweigh the negatives; I can cough, blow my nose, [flu while lambing, of course] stoke the fire, make coffee, watch the cctv for signs of lambing in the barn and watch tv: multitasking, all without disturbing the rest of the family.

The lambs are appearing slowly and the latest arrivals are triplet girls. The first lamb arrived naturally and was so tiny I feared I may have to rear her myself, but Cocoa instantly mothered her. Next lamb was taking too long to appear so I helped a little and she was a good size. Finally Cocoa, tired from licking and loving her two new daughters, lay down to try to deliver the last lamb. This lamb was enormous and seemed to be stuck halfway, coming out Superman style. It took a fair bit of pulling by me before the lamb was free in a great whoosh of fluids. All lambs seem to be thriving and as I have no suitable foster mums at the moment, I may leave Cocoa to raise all three and supplement the tiny one with some extra feeds.

There were no new arrivals last night, giving me a chance to catch up on some sleep. When I'm not sleeping my choice of tv through the night is almost exclusively food related. Greedy guts. Loving the Hairy Bikers Bakeation and I've discovered a wonderful programme called Destination Flavour: Japan with chef Adam Liaw, explaining Japanese cuisine. So interesting, love learning about new techniques and flavours.

It's 6am now and the sun, though not warm, is sending a lovely glow to the land. I'm off to check the barn and the sheep and feed the alpaca girls in the fields. Happy Easter all, enjoy your chocolate!

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Cheating at Gardening: Free Plants

At the end of January I decided it was time to get gardening again. I sowed a few seeds and a few more and a few more. My greenhouse is too cold still for seedlings so I have used any space in the kitchen, utility room and hallways and I have a feeling the family will shortly need to check into a hotel.....

In February I foolishly popped into a well known garden centre  for 'just a look' and left clutching some gorgeous fuchsia plug plants and a couple of clematis. These plants are doing splendidly and so today I have decided to tripple my investment. The 8 annual fuchsia have become 24 and the 2 clematis have become 8. Obviously I took cuttings. I'm no Monty, but I'm pretty sure I followed advice given on the web and am hopeful that my new babies will thrive. [Even if I can't spell Fushcia/Fuscia on their labels!!!]

Having taken cuttings from these plants, I fed them well with Lou's Poo plant tea and the clematis were repotted to larger pots with a good layer of Lou's Poo Beans at their roots.

The Archers at The Larches

Lou - Chicken whisperer....

Lou - Chicken whisperer....

Snowy and Moon

Snowy and Moon